Key Advice

Families like yours are NOT alone in having a child experiencing school attendance barriers. Many parents or carers who contact us says they felt as if they were the only ones, until they made contact with us.

Believe your child’s distress is real, listen to what they say and trust your instincts as a parent or carer.

Mental & physical health related absence should be authorised as illness. Extended absence requires medical evidence, so see a GP and arrange to be referred to CAMHS. 

Most schools should offer mental health support, counselling, and access to a School Nurse, they can also ask an Educational Psychologist to make an assessment.

These suggestions will help you to access the support your child needs, and help you to protect yourself from prosecution for non-attendance:

It is important to keep a brief diary of what happens day to day to build a picture of the problem and the steps that have been taken. Keep a file of notes you take at meetings, during phone calls etc. and copies of ALL emails and letters. Check that minutes of meetings are accurate. It is often useful to take someone with you so that they can take notes while you listen and you have someone to discuss the meeting with afterwards. (To help with this correspond as much as possible by email and consider using an automatic call recorder on your phone).

This blog post explains the value of keeping records and how to go about it:

Check to see how non-attendance is being recorded - check for accuracy and challenge anything you are not happy with.

If you’re concerned about school records you can make a full Subject Access Request (SAR) for a copy of all records held. Check through them carefully for accuracy and for gaps in the paperwork, and ask for them to be corrected.

You will need this to protect yourself from prosecution

• See your GP
• Speak to the school nurse
• Ask school for referral to their Educational Psychologist
• Request referrals for a CAMHS assessment

Families are often pressured to obtain medical evidence to have absence authorised or to allow for the provision of alternative education. This is usually based upon local policy, NOT statutory guidance. 

The DfE document 'School Attendance' states that absence due to Physical or Mental Illness should be marked in the register using Code I and the guidance states:

Schools should advise parents to notify them on the first day the child is unable to attend due to illness. Schools should authorise absences due to illness unless they have genuine cause for concern about the veracity of an illness. If the authenticity of illness is in doubt, schools can request parents to provide medical evidence to support illness. Schools can record the absence as unauthorised if not satisfied of the authenticity of the illness but should advise parents of their intention. Schools are advised not to request medical evidence unnecessarily. Medical evidence can take the form of prescriptions, appointment cards, etc. rather than doctors’ notes.

The document 'Ensuring a good education for children who cannot attend school because of health needs' (paragraph 12) states:

Where they have identified that alternative provision is required, LAs should ensure that it is arranged as quickly as possible and that it appropriately meets the needs of the child. In order to better understand the needs of the child, and therefore choose the most appropriate provision, LAs should work closely with medical professionals and the child’s family, andconsider the medical evidence. LAs should make every effort to minimise the disruption to a child’s education. For example, where specific medical evidence, such as that provided by a medical consultant, is not quickly available, LAs should consider liaising with other medical professionals, such as the child’s GP, and consider looking at other evidence to ensure minimal delay in arranging appropriate provision for the child.

and Paragraph 14 states:

The law does not specify the point during a child’s illness when it becomes the LA’s responsibility to secure for the child suitable full-time education. Schools would usually provide support to children who are absent from school because of illness for a shorter period, for example when experiencing chicken pox or influenza. In some cases, where a child is hospitalised, the hospital may provide education for the child within the hospital and the LA would not need to arrange any additional education, provided it is satisfied that the child is receiving suitable education. More generally, LAs should be ready to take responsibility for any child whose illness will prevent them from attending school for 15 or more school days, either in one absence or over the course of a school year, and where suitable education is not otherwise being arranged.

Other parents will have experienced the same situations as you and can offer advice or support. This is especially relevant if:

• Social Services become involved
• Child Protection is mentioned
• Fabricating Illness & Injury (FII) is mentioned

The reason you give for absence is significant, there are subtle differences but they are important if you end up in court:

• 'My child is being bullied' = sadly, not an acceptable defence in law
• 'I can't get my child to school' = not Ok, (implies you are at fault)
• ‘My child is refusing to go to school’ = not Ok as it sounds like they are making a
  choice (and you are allowing them too)
• 'My child is too unwell to attend' = Ok, but you will need to gather medical
  evidence to back up your explanation.
  If possible, email school's non-attendance contact and say your child is too unwell to attend, if necessary you should mention mental ill health / severe anxiety etc (don't say they are 'refusing school'). [Keep the Emails stored as proof]
  If you have to phone them, make a record in your diary of when you phoned, who you talked to and what was said - A paper trail of evidence is crucial.

Focus on policies for ATTENDANCE, SEND, & COMPLAINTS.

Check they are being followed correctly and if they are not, ask why?

Ask for meetings and contact people who might be willing to help (including your GP, CAMHS helpline, School Nurse, Local MP, LA attendance team).

• Take independent witnesses with you to meetings to make notes and support you.
• Research your child’s and your own rights then quote best practise - refer to legislation and statutory guidance for schools.
• After meetings request copies of the minutes. If you don’t feel they are accurate ask for them to be amended.
• If a written record is needed write your own summary of the main points and anything agreed and email it to everyone involved for their approval and records.

Start with the following websites (see links below):

• SENDIASS
• SOS SEN
• IPSEA
• YOUNG MINDS
• CONTACT

Then also look at others you think may be helpful

• Check your council’s LOCAL OFFER to see if they list anyone who might be able to help.

Act quickly - hopefully you will have been keeping records and trying to get medical evidence - (don't leave it this late to get medical evidence and referrals) - this is what protects you, as prosecuting parents of a child with a diagnosis of mental health problems: (a) generally doesn't happen and (b) breaches the Equality Act (2010). Sadly, people often get to the point of being in court the following week, don't have representation and then don't point out to judge that the child is absent because of mental illness. So, it is VERY important to see your GP and get a CAMHS referral in place ASAP.

See below or in the RESOURCES section for downloads of relevant legislation.

• This group is specifically for parents and other adult FAMILY members
• It is a Facebook CLOSED group so only members can see what is posted
• The group is very PROACTIVE, offering virtually 24/7 peer support and advice. Within the group we average around 50,000 posts, comments and reactions a month
• We have internal LOCAL CHAT groups so that people can connect with others in their area and swap local information.
• LEARNING units and a FILES section are available to provide information and advice
• The majority of members are UK based, however we also have members from other countries around the world, including USA, Ireland, Canada, South Africa, Spain, UAE, New Zealand and we are linked to a similar group in Australia.

If you wish to join us, you need to click on the 'Join this group' button in the link below and answer our THREE QUESTIONS for new members

School refusal, and related conditions and difficulties, can be very stressful for parents, and can affect the whole family. Remember to seek medical advice & support for your own health.

Please remember that you are not alone. We hope you can find support through Not Fine In School and other online support groups, and you may find local support groups too.

FOR SEPARATION ANXIETY: One really discrete thing that a parent has done this year is to sew a small piece of shared fabric into the jumper. The child knows that this piece of something from home is always with them and that mummy has a piece attached inside her handbag.

FOR SEPARATION ANXIETY: A four-year-old girl has created a ‘hug button’ to help her feel close to her mum when she’s at school. Violet Orrick and her mum Leanne, draw love hearts on each other’s hands which they press to send each other imagined hugs when they’re apart.

You could copy this idea, using a pen to draw small hearts on your arms/hand or elsewhere. You can also look out for temporary tatoos that can be used such as this on Etsy.