NFIS Family Advice Oct 2020 (pdf)
DownloadFamilies like yours are NOT alone in having a child experiencing school attendance problems and barriers. Many parents or carers who contact us says they felt as if they were the only ones, until they made contact with other parents.
Believe your child’s distress is real, listen to what they say and trust your instincts as a parent or carer.
Mental & physical health related absence should be authorised as illness. Extended absence requires medical evidence, so see your GP and ask to be referred to CAMHS.
Most schools should offer mental health / pastoral support, reasonable adjustments, SEND support, counselling, and access to a School Nurse, they can also ask an Educational Psychologist to make an assessment of your child's difficulties in school.
These suggestions will help you to access the support your child needs, and help you to protect yourself from prosecution for non-attendance:
It is important to keep a brief diary or spreadsheet where you record what happens each day to build a picture of the problem and the steps that have been taken. Keep a file of notes you take at meetings, during phone calls etc. and copies of ALL emails and letters. Check that minutes of meetings are accurate. It is often useful to take someone with you so that they can take notes while you listen and you have someone to discuss the meeting with afterwards. (To help with this correspond as much as possible by email and consider using an automatic call recorder on your phone).
This blog post by It Must Be Mum explains the value of keeping records and how to go about it:
The reason you give for absence is significant, there are subtle differences but they are important if you end up in court:
Check to see how non-attendance is being coded in the register- check for accuracy and challenge anything you are not happy with, following the school's complaints policy.
ABSENCE DUE TO ILLNESS
SUGGESTED ACTIONS
You will need this to protect yourself from prosecution
Families are often pressured to obtain medical evidence to have absence authorised and to inform the provision of suitable and appropriate alternative education.
The DfE guidance states: Code I: Illness (not medical or dental appointment)
219. Schools should not routinely request that parents provide medical evidence to support illness. Schools are advised not to request medical evidence unnecessarily as it places additional pressure on health professionals, their staff and their appointments system particularly if the illness is one that does not require treatment by a health professional. Only where the school has a genuine and reasonable doubt about the authenticity of the illness should medical evidence be requested to support the absence. (page 58)
NOTE: In further DfE guidance it states: ' If you are asked to provide evidence this does not need to be a letter from your doctor or consultant, and doctors will not usually provide such letters. It can, instead, be appointment cards, prescriptions, or notes of previous consultations (including from the NHS App).' (page 2).
Check your Local Authority’s code of practice/conduct for school attendance or your school’s attendance policy and see what medical evidence they state will be accepted, for example Birmingham City Council suggest the following forms of evidence are acceptable:
- Medical appointment card with one appointment entered.
- Letter from a professional such as a hospital Consultant or Psychologist.
- Evidence of a consultation with NHS 111.
- Medication prescribed by a GP.
- Copy of prescription.
- Print screen of medical notes.
- Letters concerning hospital appointments.
- Slip with date, pupils name and surgery stamp, signed by Receptionist.
Other parents will have experienced the same situations as you and can offer advice or support. This is especially relevant if:
Focus on policies for ATTENDANCE, SEND, BEHAVIOUR, BULLYING, SUPPORTING PUPILS WITH MEDICAL NEEDS & MAKING COMPLAINTS (as applicable).
Check they are being followed correctly and if they are not, ask why?
The school should respond to attendance problems by making assessments and helping to investigate what the underlying triggers or unmet needs are so that they can be addressed. This might involve the SENDCo, and referrals to an Educational Psychologist, CAMHS, and possibly other services such as Occupational Therapy and Speech and Language Therapy.
Ask for meetings and contact people who might be willing to help (including your GP, CAMHS helpline, School Nurse, Local MP, LA attendance team).
Start with the following websites:
Then also look at others you think may be helpful
Act quickly - hopefully you will have been keeping records and trying to get medical evidence - (don't leave it this late to get medical evidence and referrals) - this is what protects you, as prosecuting parents of a child with a diagnosis of mental health problems: (a) generally doesn't happen and (b) breaches the Equality Act (2010). Sadly, people often get to the point of being in court the following week, don't have representation and then don't point out to judge that the child is absent because of mental illness. So, it is VERY important to see your GP and get a CAMHS referral in place ASAP.
KEY ADVICE IF YOU ARE UNDER THREAT OF LEGAL ACTION:
The Department for Education published new School Attendance Guidance, 'Working together to improve attendance' to be applied from 1st September 2022 onwards, with further guidance published in February 2023 (SEE BELOW)
The recommended approach is a focus on building relationships to facilitate access to support.
If you wish to join us, you need to click on the 'Join this group' button in the link below and answer our THREE QUESTIONS for new members
School Attendance Difficulties, and related conditions and problems, can be very stressful for parents, and can affect the whole family. Remember to seek medical advice & support for your own health.
Please remember that you are not alone. We hope you can find support through Not Fine In School and other online support groups. You may find local support groups too.
Contact offer 1-1 telephone appointments with a family support adviser for parent carers looking for a listening ear, reassurance and practical and emotional support. We recommend that you book an appointment with them to talk through your situation
Dr Naomi Fisher is an independent clinical psychologist and EMDR-Europe trainer. She specialises in trauma, autism and alternative approaches to education. She works with children, adolescents and adults.
She is the author of Changing our Minds: How Children Can Take Control of their Own Learning (Robinson, 2021) and A Different Way to Learn: Neurodiversity and Self-Directed Education (JKP, 2023).
She runs regular webinars and mini courses. They combine psychological theory and evidence with ideas which you can put into practice right away.
Naomi's blog posts discuss various aspects of school based anxiety, attendance difficulties, self-directed learning and low demand parenting.
MindJam offers emotional support and guidance for children and adolescents through gaming and game design. It is important to recognise and understand that many children have additional emotional needs that are not always met by traditional means. At a young age, these needs can sometimes feel overwhelming and often isolating.
At MindJam, our aim is to support children who suffer anxiety, stress, social issues and other emotional needs. We are experienced in working with children with ASD, ADHD, Trauma, PDA and children who have been adopted. MindJam uses gaming, coding and game creation, digital music and digital art, as a platform to develop positive play, problem solving and social and technical skill development, through friendly, positive and low-demand sessions. These activities are great for relieving stress and anxiety and have been shown to greatly benefit mental health and cognitive development.
Spectrum Gaming is an online community for autistic young people which has three main intended outcomes:
1) Building Friendships - A lot of autistic young people are lonely, isolated and struggle with friendships. We wanted to create a community where autistic young people feel comfortable and can make strong friendships in a safe way. Our main provision is our online community, that anyone from across the UK can access. We also run meet ups for young people who live in the Greater Manchester area.
2) Increasing Self-Acceptance - Because of how much people misunderstand autism and the way it is diagnosed, unfortunately many autistic people hate their diagnosis or feel ashamed of being autistic. We want to make sure as many autistic people as possible are able to accept their differences and live the happiest lives they can
3) Advocacy - We don't just want to be a community that enables autistic young people to develop meaningful friendships and develop a more positive perspective of autism. We want to create a movement that will have a positive influence on society through advocacy, and enable strategical change to ensure the needs of autistic young people are met across the UK. We have created a platform where young people can share their voices through content, talks and more.
Today our disadvantaged kids are over-represented in school absence figures. The most recent CSJ analysis reveals SEND children are three times more likely to be "ghost children" - while those with an EHCP are five times more likely.
For kids that might be experiencing ESBA (Emotional Social Based School Avoidance), Game Changers uses young peoples gaming interests as a vital platform to engage, provide emotional support, social companionship and teach real world skills. This means working together and learning on the same game development platforms that are used by professionals.
Russell, our techie founder, has personal experience with school refusal with his child (ASD/ADHD/PDA). During his child's time at home, Russell taught him game development and was astonished by the level of engagement compared to efforts with traditional curriculum subjects. This experience motivated Russell to start our organisation.
Game Changers is committed to the mission of helping the UK's "ghost children" (those who are disengaged from education) to get trusted support at home with the possibility of becoming involved in the digital sector, which is a vital and in-demand field in the UK.
Our team work to reduce anxiety and help each young person access learning, build self-esteem and confidence. For older adolescents we help them understand how to build a portolio, apply for jobs or win freelancing work once they have the skills to do so.
UNCOMMON MINDS are running a short three part Confidence and Connection course for neurodivergent young people aged 7-9 with emotionally based school avoidance.
The sessions are designed so that participants can choose how they take part. Some just observe with cameras off, whilst others interact. The topics covered include Building Confidence, Managing Anxiety and Navigating Friendships.
FOR SEPARATION ANXIETY: One really discrete thing that a parent has done this year is to sew a small piece of shared fabric into the jumper. The child knows that this piece of something from home is always with them and that mummy has a piece attached inside her handbag.
FOR SEPARATION ANXIETY: A four-year-old girl has created a ‘hug button’ to help her feel close to her mum when she’s at school. Violet Orrick and her mum Leanne, draw love hearts on each other’s hands which they press to send each other imagined hugs when they’re apart.
You could copy this idea, using a pen to draw small hearts on your arms/hand or elsewhere. You can also look out for temporary tatoos that can be used such as this on Etsy.
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